This is not my ceiling
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
