All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
