whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
