You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
