She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
smell my finger.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
