Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
