Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
