SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
