dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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