I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
