just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
