OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think a kid would responsible me up
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
