I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
