Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
me + whiskey = a bad person
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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