It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
