So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
