worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
