Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
