I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
