Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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