oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
did i walk over a car last night?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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