I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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