i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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