Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
