Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
