Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
