I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
