would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
