He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I need moral support for this bender
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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