so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You're a waste of cheezeits
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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