this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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