Just cropdusted the office
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
