You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
