Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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