he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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