its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
