she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
