If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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