There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
