You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
