Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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