I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
