Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We have started to decorate penises.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
