Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
