i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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