he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
