i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
