we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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