Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
