in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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