Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
